When someone has hurt you, it usually means one of the following:

• What they said/did was generally offensive.
• What they said/did touched an emotional wound.
• What they said/did prevent you from getting one of your needs met.
• A nice mix of all the above.

We will discuss them in detail, but first let’s look at the people who do these things and hurt us.

This person can be a toxic person and plain mean. Their intentions usually don’t have the best for you. In such a case, we need to stand up for ourselves.

But not all the hurt comes…

Are you kind to yourself at all??

When we have any type of problems in our lives, we tend to be harsher on ourselves.

And that’s not good.

It exasperates the problems.

And in the long term, it will erode our self-esteem and make shame grow bigger.

That, in turn, will make our problems worse. It’s like, we are not solving our problems; we are making them worse.

So, this article is here to help.

Surprisingly, I am not going to mention anything about being kind to yourself through the entire article.

I am not going to tell you to…

The power to find great ideas isn’t unique.

It’s the power to apply these great ideas in our lives that’s unique and admirable.

Read that again.

Let it sink.

I know you won’t read it again, so I will make you read it again by writing it in different words because I am kind of an asshole and a control freak.

Maybe I will add a word or two to explain more.

Here you go.

Finding things in this era isn’t a difficult task thanks to the internet.

We can find ideas and information that can make us better people…

“I hate myself,” said I.

I Hate Myself Because I Am Ugly/Not Attractive

Dear self,

I don’t like the way you look.

Your nose. It is big and ugly. Your skin. It is as dry as cactus.

And your body. Oh, your body! What a joke! It is the source of our shame, to put it mildly.

When you look at the mirror, I feel sick. Seeing this reflection isn’t the best thing in the world. It reminds me of how ugly you are and how you will never feel beautiful or handsome.

And this is not the only consequence.

It reminds me of the idea that you…

You have probably thought about this before. The world is not a beautiful place; it is a scary place, dreadful even.

Those are the kinds of ideas you get when you are alone late at night and thinking about the meaning of your existence. And you find none. All you can think of are the shitty times you screwed up your life and the suffering that is everywhere around you.

Your idea of finding a meaning for your life doesn’t seem to fit in this cruel world where your ideas, ambitions, and desires are crushed.

To put it mildly, even…

There are signs of a healthy relationship that often go unnoticed.

People usually focus on the grandiose, and often cliché, ways of expressing their undying love. Or they chase the chemical cocktails that give you butterflies and keep you high.

I am not here to judge these means of expressing love. I am here to tell you that a healthy relationship goes way deeper than these means. To recognize, or to create, this healthy relationship that you are after, you need to pay attention to subtler ways of being and communicating (with yourself and with your partner).

And this is…

Shame storms are shitty.

There is a creepy feeling of unworthiness that attacks you when you screw up or do something wrong.

You start looking down at yourself. You feel as if you have betrayed yourself. You feel that you don’t deserve any of the things you want.

This feeling can be intense enough to be believed. Its message is, “You are bad and you are hopeless. Nobody ever is going to think you are good. You can’t be good after all this.”

If you buy into this emotional crap, you are going to lose yourself.

You are going to…

I’m not a big fan of watching movies.

It’s not that I hate them. I just watch movies less than the average individual for reasons that are still unknown.

Recently, I have sat down to watch Spider-man Homecoming. It was just for entertainment. I was not expecting to find something deep in it.

But it turned out that I was wrong. Inside the movie lies one of the secrets of self-respect and the antidote to neediness.

Having a healthy self-esteem is associated with having enough self-respect. Self-respect is about having reasons to look up at yourself. …